Writing a Eulogy with AI: 90 Minutes to a Finished Speech
Writing a eulogy with AI takes about 90 minutes if you first collect your own memories and let the AI supply only the structure and a rough text. A eulogy is a spoken text delivered at a funeral service that honors a life and gives comfort to those present.
The AI doesn't know the person. Everything that sounds like them comes from you.
Key takeaways
- Keywords first: Write down eight to ten real memories before you open an AI tool. Without them you get a text that fits any deceased person.
- Plan words by minutes: As a rule of thumb, count on 120 to 150 words per minute, or more like 100 to 120 if your voice is shaky. For 5 minutes that is roughly 600 to 750 words, or better 500 to 600 at a calm pace.
- Check every detail: In the AI version, cross out anything that you or a relative can't confirm: places, numbers, hobbies, quotes.
- Rehearse with a stopwatch: Read the speech aloud once at funeral pace. If you're over time, cut paragraphs, not single words.
Writing a eulogy with AI: what you end up with and how long it takes
You end up with a manuscript of 500 to 750 words in your own words, which you speak in about 5 minutes. The way there takes five steps and around 90 minutes in total. That is a planning figure: if you have a lot of memories, allow more.
| Step | Task | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Note down memories as keywords | approx. 20 min. |
| 2 | Set the frame and length for the AI | approx. 10 min. |
| 3 | Request a draft, check the structure | approx. 10 min. |
| 4 | Rewrite, cut clichés and invented details | approx. 30 min. |
| 5 | Read aloud, time it, cut | approx. 20 min. |
You decide the length in advance, not only when you read it aloud. In everyday conversation people speak at about 120 to 150 words per minute. At a funeral you will probably speak more slowly, and there are pauses and moments where you stop. So plan with the lower figure.
| Speaking time | Words at 120–150 per minute | Words at a calm pace (approx. 100) |
|---|---|---|
| 3 minutes | 360–450 | approx. 300 |
| 5 minutes | 600–750 | approx. 500 |
| 8 minutes | 960–1,200 | approx. 800 |
| 10 minutes | 1,200–1,500 | approx. 1,000 |
Before you start writing, ask how much time you have in the order of service. If you know the number, you can give it to the AI and save yourself cutting later.
Step 1: How do I collect memories before I open the AI?
Write eight to ten keywords on paper or in a note, each with a concrete image: a sentence the person often said, a smell, a habit, a scene. General qualities like "was warm-hearted" are no use. A scene in which you can see it carries the whole speech.
Three questions help with collecting:
- What did she or he do on a completely ordinary Sunday?
- Which sentence comes to mind immediately when you think of the person?
- What did you last laugh about together?
Also ask two or three relatives for one memory each. That takes one message and often brings the sentence you didn't have yourself.
Also note down the facts that have to be right: dates of birth and death, profession, names of the closest relatives.
Step 2: What do I need to tell the AI about the speaker, the audience and the length?
The AI needs five pieces of information: who you are, whom you are honoring, who you are speaking in front of, in what tone, and how long the speech should be. If one is missing, it fills the gap with stock phrases. The more precise the frame, the less you have to cut later.
Here is an example of a prompt that contains these five details and your keywords:
I am the granddaughter and I'm giving the speech at my grandfather's funeral. It is a secular service with about 60 guests, family and friends. The tone should be warm and calm, with one place where a smile is allowed. Length: 500 words. Use only the facts and memories I give you and do not invent anything. No stock phrases like "He leaves a great void behind." Here are my keywords: …
Put only first names or "my grandfather" in the prompt. You don't need addresses, health details or full names for the draft.
Step 3: How do I ask for a first draft?
Ask only for the structure first, with placeholders where your anecdotes go. A eulogy can be divided into four parts: greeting, life story with a personal scene, the core message (what remains of the person) and a comforting farewell. You take over this frame and fill in the text yourself.
There is a practical reason for this. A fully written draft sounds smooth, and smooth texts are hard to change. A skeleton with gaps forces you to insert your own scenes.
Ask the AI to give each part a time allowance, for example 45 seconds of greeting, 2 minutes of life story, 1.5 minutes of core message, 45 seconds of farewell. That way you see early on where the emphasis lies. Only when the structure fits, have it write a rough text, and treat it as material, not as the result.
Step 4: How do I turn the raw text into my own speech?
Go through the raw text paragraph by paragraph and ask of each sentence: Would I say it this way, and do I know it's true? Cross out whatever fails either test. Replace it with a sentence you would tell at the kitchen table. This revision takes the longest and turns the text into your speech.
Watch out for four typical mistakes:
- Invented details: AI can add a fishing trip, a favorite saying or a decade that was never mentioned. Check every number and every scene against your keywords.
- Clichés: Sentences that fit any funeral: delete them without replacement or swap them for your scene.
- A false "we" tone: If you speak for everyone, check whether everyone feels that way. "I" is more honest and easier to say.
- Sentences that are too long: What looks elegant on the page is tiring to speak. Split sentences that run longer than about 20 words, as a rule of thumb, into two.
Afterward, have someone who knew the deceased read the speech. They will notice what isn't right before everyone hears it.
Step 5: How do I read the speech aloud and cut it to time?
Read the manuscript aloud once in full and time it, at the pace you want to have at the service. Then divide the words by the measured minutes. If you need 6.5 minutes for 700 words, you speak about 108 words per minute. So you have to cut about 160 words.
Cut whole paragraphs, not single words. Keep the scene that sounds most like the person, and cut the one that only supplies information. One sentence about the dates of birth and death is enough.
Prepare the manuscript so that you can read it even with a trembling voice: large print, short paragraphs, pauses marked. Don't read from a smartphone. After each scene, put in a line as a breathing pause so you don't race through the text. Water and tissues belong next to the page.
How do eight keywords about "Grandpa Heinz" become a 5-minute speech?
Eight keywords become a speech by giving each scene its own paragraph and letting the AI supply only the order and transitions. The following example with an invented person shows the way. The timings are a worked example, not a measurement.
The eight keywords:
- Forty years in the same carpentry workshop
- Whistled while planing, always off-key, always the same song
- Sunday pancakes with applesauce: "The first one is for the cook"
- Pocketknife, carved ducks for the grandchildren
- Never liked losing at Skat
- Married to Grandma Gerda for 58 years
- Said at every problem: "We'll sort it out."
- Last summer: sat in the garden by the tomatoes
The prompt follows the pattern from step 2: granddaughter, secular service, warm tone, 500 to 550 words, only these facts, no clichés.
The AI's raw draft has a usable structure, but begins with general sentences about life and transience that fit any person. It also invents a seaside vacation that nobody mentioned. Both go out; the structure and order stay.
The final version begins with the first scene, in your own words:
My grandfather Heinz worked in the same workshop for forty years. When he planed a board, he whistled while he did it, always the same song, always off-key. We grandchildren could hear him from the garden gate.
On Sundays there were pancakes with applesauce. The first one, he said every time, is for the cook, because it always turns out the worst. We never believed that, and we still argued over it every time.
When something went wrong for us, he said one sentence: "We'll sort it out." Mostly that was true. Today that sentence is hard for me, but I still hear it.
The rest of the speech follows the same pattern: one scene per paragraph, a pause after it. The version had 590 words. Read aloud, it took 5 minutes 40 seconds. The Skat scene was cut because the carving of the ducks showed the same side of Heinz.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to say that the speech was written with AI help?
I'm not aware of any obligation to, and what matters to the guests is that the words come from you and are true. If someone asks you, an honest answer is simple: you supplied the memories, the AI helped with organizing. Check beforehand whether the funeral celebrant or officiant has their own guidelines for the service.
Which details should I better not enter into an AI tool?
Above all, leave out family disputes. Also look in the tool's privacy settings to see whether your inputs are used for training, and switch that off if necessary.
What do I do if my voice fails while I'm speaking?
Pause and breathe before you read on. Ask a trusted person in advance to stand next to you and take over the rest if you can't go on. For that, they should have the manuscript in hand and know the last paragraph.
What do I do with the memories that don't fit in the speech?
Write down the first ten keywords today, and collect the memories that are left over when you cut in one place instead of discarding them. The rest still belongs to the story and can be kept on a memorial page with photos and memories.
At WhoWasThisGuy.com, families can create such a page, where relatives add stories and photos and an AI writing assistant helps with wording. The memorial pages launch soon.